


a phonebooth i somehow stumbled into

by returnsandreturns



Category: New Girl
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 04:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14908616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/returnsandreturns/pseuds/returnsandreturns
Summary: Nick has had entire relationships where the other person never found out about his little secret—the whole bulletproof thing. Months—not many months, but months—have passed and there’s been no reason for them to find out, because why would they? If nobody’s shooting at you, there’s no reason to bring it up.Jess Day moves into their apartment and finds out in two days, because she drops a pot of boiling water on his feet while she’s talking too aggressively with her hands and trying to make pasta at the same time.





	a phonebooth i somehow stumbled into

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting on my computer for several years so here's a tiny version.

Nick has had entire relationships where the other person never found out about his little secret—the whole bulletproof thing. Months—not many months, but _months_ —have passed and there’s been no reason for them to find out, because why would they? If nobody’s shooting at you, there’s no reason to bring it up.

Jess Day moves into their apartment and finds out in two days, because she drops a pot of boiling water on his feet while she’s talking too aggressively with her hands and trying to make pasta at the same time.

“Oh, _no_ ,” she says, immediately falling to her knees to grab the pot and hissing, “ _Sugar_ ,” when she burns her hand on the handle. The impact hurts Nick, the initial hit and burn, but then it rolls off of him.

Jess is chanting, “Sorry, sorry, oh my god,” until she shuts up abruptly, looking slowly up at him.

“. . .that should have burned you,” she says, glancing back down and poking experimentally at his bare foot. He shuffles away, huffing out a laugh.

“Probably,” he says.

“Oh no,” Schmidt says, from his bedroom door. “That was fast.”

“Why didn’t it burn you?” Jess asks, getting to her feet. “Look at my hand.”

She waves her hand in front of him, and Nick catches a glimpse of the burn, a red line curved over her palm. When he meets her eyes, Jess looks confused and—maybe a tiny bit scared, which isn’t okay.

“I can’t get hurt,” Nick says, because it seems inevitable at this point.

“You _can’t_ get hurt?” Jess repeats.

“Well, he can’t get hurt physically,” Schmidt inserts, pulling a face. “But, emotionally? Yeesh.”

“Don’t help, man,” Nick murmurs.

Jess stares at him for a long moment before she giggles, covering her mouth with her hand.

“Seriously?” she asks. “ _You’re_ invincible?”

“Yeah?” Nick says. “Wait—why are you laughing?”

“Oh, sorry,” Jess says, trying to pull herself together and clearly failing. “I mean, you just don’t—look invincible. No offense.”

“. . . _offense_ ,” Nick says, frowning. “What, all super-powered individuals have to have—abs and, and— _thigh gaps_ , now?” 

“No, no, definitely not,” Jess says. “I just—”

She makes a vague gesture in his direction, and Nick continues to glare at her.

“See,” Schmidt says, seriously. “His _feelings_ aren’t invincible.”

Jess starts to giggle again, and Nick turns on his heel and leaves. He doesn’t need this.

 

*

 

“I don’t know karate,” Nick says, for the third time, because apparently Jess doesn’t believe him. She won’t stop talking about fighting and it’s getting to him.

“But you could _learn_ karate,” Jess says, grinning and doing a vague karate chop motion.

“I don’t wanna learn karate. I want to stay in my room and eat pretzels and not get shot,” Nick says. “I’m a simple man.”

“You’re not, though—Nick, you’re _invincible_ ,” Jess says, dropping down to sit on his bed. “Don’t you think you’re like that for a reason?”

“I mean, why was I born with brown eyes?” Nick says. “Why were _you_ born with bangs? Life is random and terrible.”

“I wasn’t— _born_ with bangs, but—just think of all the _good_ we could do,” Jess says.

“We?” Nick asks, frowning.

“There’s maybe something I haven’t told you,” Jess says, looking shifty, “about me.”

“Oh my god,” Nick says.

“I can sort of fly,” Jess says.

“Oh my _god_.”

 

*

 

Nick resists the urge to cover his face with his hands while Jess tells him about the time she climbed up onto her roof in Portland when she was seven years old to look at the stars, tripped, and just. . .never hit the ground.

“How exactly do you fly?” Nick asks.

“I just do,” Jess says, shrugging. “I mean, it helps if I hum something inspirational or—think of something happy, but I think maybe that’s, like, psychosomatic?”

“Show me,” Nick says, even though what he really should say is _never show me_ or _let’s go inside and you can make cupcakes and we’ll pretend neither of us knows anything secret about the other one_ or _let’s never speak again._ Jess looks at him for a long moment like she’s considering something, and he definitely wants no part of _that_ , but then she smiles.

“Okay,” she says. “Let’s go to the roof.”

“We can’t just do it in here?” he asks.

“No, I’ve hit too many ceilings in my life,” Jess says. “Don’t drink and fly, friend. That advice holds true for both pilots and weirdos with superpowers.”

Nick follows her up to the roof reluctantly, crossing his arms over his chest while he watches her shut her eyes, concentrating intently. Her hands are resting on her hips, and she’s taking these deep, deep breaths and Nick is definitely not looking at her breasts because he is a gentleman.

“Didn’t think about doing this while wearing a skirt,” Jess says, laughing. “Sorry for the show.”

She hums a couple of bars of “Love is a Battlefield” and jumps and just. . .doesn’t come down. Her skirt flips up towards her waist before she manages to smooth it down, and Nick glances away after getting a clear look at her pink cotton underwear. He is not a gentleman. That was a lie.

“Well, damn,” he says, trying not to sound amazed. “You can fly.”

“Told you,” Jess says. She angles herself down and stumbles when her feet hit the ground again, falling into Nick’s chest, and he grabs her on instinct to keep her from falling.

She smiles up at him then shifts it into an exaggerated grimace, laughing awkwardly and pulling away.

“Never really figured out how to stick the landing,” she says, then does some kind of jazz hands, “but there you go. The miracle of flight.”

“Impressive,” he says. “Ever do anything with it?”

“Couple of kittens in trees,” she says, then looks back up at Nick with big dreamy eyes and a smile that’s nothing short of evil. “I’ve always wanted to do more, though.”

“. . .no,” Nick says, backing away.

“If I had the right person,” Jess says.

“ _No.”_

“C’ _mon_ , I already have the costumes planned!”

**Author's Note:**

> I write mostly Daredevil stuff on [Tumblr](http://returnsandreturns.tumblr.com) but I'm over there.


End file.
